Are You In An Abusive Relationship?
It’s sad to say that in this day and age chances are very high that either someone you know and love - or you yourself - are in or have been in an abusive relationship. There are many types of abusive relationships and it’s important to remember that both mental and physical abuse can be destructive and the scars take a long time to heal.
The problem with abuse is that most relationships don’t begin in an abusive nature. Most of the time there are subtle shifts along the way, silent reprogramming until the abuser feels confident that they can control the relationship.
In most cases, by the time the abuse becomes recognizable, the victim has been so brainwashed that she or he (men can also be victims of abusive relationships) doesn’t recognize the actions as abuse and actually takes the blame for his or her predicament.
Victims often can’t be convinced that they’re experiencing abuse. They’re so busy justifying the behavior of the abuser that they don’t see it for what it is. In many cases, the simple answer is that it’s hard to admit you’ve allowed this to happen. But if you recognize some of the following patterns in your own relationship, it’s quite possible that you are in fact, a victim of abuse.
Have you been cut off to some degree from friends or family? Does your partner seek to drive a wedge between you and other people you’re close to? Does he make you choose between him and others that love you?
These are all signs of the beginning of isolation. An abuser knows that his power over you must be absolute in order to have the true dominance he seeks. Friends and family members are competition and potential witnesses.
Does your partner control the finances? You should be equal partners when it comes to money matters. If your partner holds all of the power financially then he has power over your ability to stay, leave, spend money, and make decisions.
Does your partner hit you, strike at you in anger, call you names, put you down, or make you feel inferior? These are all signs of abuse at the hands of your partner. Some insults are more subtle than others - as are some of the physical violence against you. Early signs would be your partner playing too rough and then becoming upset or agitated when you indicate that you’ve had enough.
This is by no means every sign or indication that exists for mental or physical abuse in relationships. Chances are that if you feel you’re being abused - you are! You can always seek advice and guidance at a local women’s shelter or domestic violence center if you suspect you’re being abused and would like help.
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